Greg Goss (gossg) wrote,
Greg Goss
gossg

Two sides to every story

From LILY COYLE, MINNEAPOLIS
<http://www.startribune.com/opinion/letters/81595442.html>

"Dear Pat Robertson,

"I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the
shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people
when they are down, so I'm all over that action. But when you say that
Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil
incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me
leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I
strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth --
glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those
Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the
earthquake. Haven't you seen 'Crossroads'? Or 'Damn Yankees'?

"If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers,
SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent
poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not
how I roll. You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your
wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of
bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please.
Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

"Best,

"Satan"
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